Monday, November 15, 2010

Asking



A weekly ‘correction’ has been an idea that has appealed to me for a long time. As much as the idea of a punishment has an erotic appeal to me and is most certainly a big factor in so many of my fantasies, in reality I don’t respond to corporal discipline all that well. My husband isn’t inclined to that since he realized that corporal punishment brought out the feisty, rebellious side of me and he couldn’t see the point in having corporal discipline if it wasn’t doing us good.

Maybe a month ago now, I came to him with the suggestion that we have a weekly ‘correction’. It would be at the same time each week but other than that the details of it were up to him. He expressed his concern. He loved me. He didn’t want to inflict pain on me really. But, didn’t he get excited every time he did do that? Yes, he assured me he did. So, if I was asking him to give me a weekly correction, asking for him to inflict pain, was he all right with that? More than all right apparently because although it was not Saturday morning, the time agreed, he thought we should start right away.

Out came the ropes to tie me to the bedroom chair very securely and into my mouth went the ball gag. It had been a long time since I’d felt more than a few strokes of the cane, and although my mouth was filled I managed to scream my way around the gag with every stroke. But, I loved every nasty minute of it, the lovely sex afterwards and the delicious feel of being sore every time I sat down over the day.

The following Saturday, I was tied to the bed. Arms stretched out and tied to the front and back right post of the bed, but my feet were left alone. This time he used the ring gag and his choice of implement was a flat thick wooden slicer, the sort you use to turn something in a flying pan. From the first wack of that implement I registered my protest with deep, guttural shrieks. It stunk like the bejesus and I swear the cane is easier to take than a paddle. But, on he went to all intents and purposes having a swell old time flaying into my backside while I pulled on the ropes in some vain attempt that I could actually get away. Yet, low and behold, the sex afterwards was heavenly and my state of mind all weekend wonderfully elevated. Off to the races we went and my little heart was filled with joy and love.

This past weekend, I woke on Saturday morning laid low. My throat was very sore, my head ached and it was clear this girl wasn’t up to a thrashing. On Sunday morning, I feared that he would let it go; let me off the hook. I knew I didn’t have the courage to ask again. But, he came through with flying colours. We spoke of walking the dogs to a breakfast place and agreed to do that and I thought that was that but just as I was thinking of a shower, he told me the correction needed to come first.

Over the bed again (it’s high and I can bend over it at hip level) and tied tightly to the bedposts and this time, my ankles too. I was utterly and completely secured.

“Think about the past week. Is there anything about your behaviour that requires correction?”

I tend to go to water at these moments.

“Ummmm, I can’t think of anything...”

“Well you better hurry up because if you don’t, it won’t bode well for you.”

“Well, I answered you back a couple of times. I was a bit argumentative a couple of times.”

“Yes, you were. Unnecessarily so. Anything else?”

“I...I don’t think so...”

“Well, there is the issue of the petrol gauge being on empty again and we didn’t deal with that yet so that will have to be taken into account, won’t it?”

“Yes, owner.”

“Hmmmmm”

I’ve never managed to convince my husband that a girl needs a warm up before a caning. He brought his hand down a few times but it had little bearing on the fact that the first stroke bit into me and had me howl.

“May I please have a gag for my mouth?”

I do so much better when I can focus my energies on something in my mouth.

“Certainly. Which one would you prefer?”

“The cocki gag please.”

So, in it went and I felt ever so much better. For a guy that shows reservation with corporal punishment I have to give my husband full marks in acting since he certainly appears to be enjoying himself as he wallops my bottom and produces red stripes across white skin.

I did not cry but I did come up as high as I could a few times towards the end, rather like a horse neighs his protest up into the air, only to find that my restraints were tight and binding and I had nowhere to go.

One of his favourite little tricks is for me to think that he is done. He will come to me and be tender with me, perhaps rubbing my bottom a little or touching my face as I breathe hard and go into the phase of recovery.

“A few more, I think. Not quite done yet.”

But, again, the sex was very, very good and the day, a perfectly happy one.

We are only three weeks into this ritual but it is going very well. It meets my needs and I honestly don’t think it is onerous for him. I’m not getting that impression.

But, I did need to ask for this. It was not going to happen if I did not ask. I would encourage others who are cognisant of a need to discuss that need with their partner and see if you can’t come to an arrangement. Asking is not easy but then again, not getting for what you need has no upside at all.

10 comments:

  1. Is it really as simple as that? Is it really ok to ask?

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  2. gg: You make me smile. I have it on excellent authority it is perfectly all right to ask.

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  3. I love to read every one of your posts. I hope to get more comments from you. You were my first commenter on my blog. Feel free to share it with any of your friends. I don't have any followers yet. (Hint,Hint)...laughs!!!
    I can't wait for my wife to ask for what she needs.

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  4. William: There it is: evidence that some men don't mind, nay would adore their wives asking for what they want. There is so much rhetoric about D/s and I think it can make submissives think that they have to do this and they can't do that to be a genuine article. That's why I advocate listening carefully to what he says to ascertain what he wants as well as asking for what one needs. That should pretty much cover everything.

    Off to be your first follower too, if I can figure out what to do...

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  5. Very nice story. It seems to have a moral though. I can't work out what the moral might be. Can't quite make out the last paragraph either.

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  6. Some of my problems come from asking, though... In one of my relationships, it seems like all I do is ask... which makes me think about the other man, who everything goes so well with...

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  7. PL: I didn't intend it to be a story with a moral to it. I meant to suggest that rather than submissives feeling that it wasn't their place to ask for things, asking is really just part of communicating and it is perfectly all right to ask. Of course, one might ask for something and the answer is "no" but surely an explanation for that answer is given, because if a submissive asked for something which often puts her in a very uncomfortable and vulnerable place, she deserve to know why her request can't be granted.

    I have wanted something else for quite some time and I am to ask for it in writing. Since it is a rather profound move for us he wants that confirmation to be sure that this is really something *I* want.

    At the end of the day, all I can really say is that it was highly beneficial to me to ask to be spanked once a week because if I didn't ask it would not have happened and it does me a whole heap of good (and thus does him a whole heap of good).

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  8. Ida Virgin: I can imagine needing to ask all the time would be right out of your comfort zone and it would be right out of mine too. In fact, one of my husband's concerns with my request was that he wasn't sure that a ritual was the best thing for me because I respond so well to his unpredictability and spontaneity. In other words, I respond to *him* deciding what is going to happen to me. The trouble with that is he gets immersed in his work and then his fun side can switch off for long bouts. Hence: the ritual.

    Maybe, your dominant has got too used to your asking for things and he has got a bit lazy about his role. Maybe a few hints...how much you love it when he just takes charge...

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  9. Vesta,
    oh the challenge of asking. If I had a penny for every time I struggle to ask for something I desired whether that be related to kink, to BDSM, to eroticism well goodness me I would be a millionaire.

    I am fortunate to have a Master who wants me to ask, well actually to beg. Not only does he reinforce such behaviour he beams with pride when I do. I find asking to be one of the most humility acts I have ever embarked on; however, I am learning that no one, not even my Master can read my mind, can always determine what I want and when I want it.

    Dominants are not perfect, sometimes they too want to hear what we want, what we crave.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    xxoo
    ~a

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  10. goodgirl: I was rather pleased with myself in this post and so it didn't speak to the fact that I have been seriously challenged to ask for what I need. I still am, by and large, but I can see the outcomes are so much better when we don't just assume that they (dominants and tops) know what we are thinking. And, I think having a girl ask (or beg) every now and then is really not a bad thing from their perspective either. And, you raise a good point - it is *how* you ask that it is vitally important here. I refer to it as "asking nicely" and most men can't resist that.

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