Tuesdays is my day to take my meditation cushion along to a public space where I spend an hour meditating with people looking for peace of mind. The strange thing about this experience is that I could make myself comfortable by using a chair. Nearly everyone else sits on a chair. However, being mildly uncomfortable is part of the experience for me, overcoming discomfort and finding that place in my mind where I can tolerate, and even embrace the discomfort.
It must sound odd to the man in the street, embracing the discomfort, but so many submissives do just that on a regular basis. We are bound in odd positions with rope or chains; spanked, whipped, caned. Sex is sometimes not as prescribed in romantic novels. We may not say as much, but many submissively minded people don't mind, under the right circumstances, being choked a little, pushed or shoved against a wall; manhandled in a myriad of ways. None of this is exactly...comfortable.
I can't always make it on Tuesdays, so when I do get to sit on my cushion in that public space I return to the experience in a truly heartfelt way. It feels the perfect place for me.
'Give yourself permission to relax'
'There's no-one else who needs you and nowhere else you have to be.'
Bliss.
In the beginning, whilst I was learning to meditate, it was a restless experience. I'd sometimes wonder how I'd ever get through the hour. It took time to accept the discomfort, the roaming thoughts and the endless calling of my mind back to the breath. Now, the empty mind transports me to a deep peace.
Like us all, I experience emotions - happiness, sadness, frustration, anger. Emotional states come and go, rise and fall, but I didn't necessarily understand them. I'd feel, say, jealousy, and feel overwhelmed by the emotion. That is, my whole physical body would be involved - the heart would beat faster and my head would feel foggy. Potentially, I'd react to the emotion; perhaps say something that I'd regret later, or perhaps just fester inside myself. I was aware that I did not want to react that way, but I didn't always have the tools to prevent a reaction, inner or outer reaction.
Very recently, someone said something and I could feel my instantaneous reaction - a small reaction - inside myself. I would best categorize it as a 'hurt feeling'. It wasn't earth shattering at all, but I felt it. It was very real. But, instead of allowing it to overcome me, or disable me, I asked a question.
'What was that you just felt? What was that hurt feeling about?'
I explored the emotion and quickly identified it as a touch of jealousy. I would have liked to have myself what he was talking about, his experience with another woman. Interestingly, once I identified the emotion, and then why the emotion had come into my internal world; that is, once I actually went to the emotion and felt it in its entirety, I found myself able to immediately let it go. I embraced it, then dismissed it. I felt strong and empowered.
It would be impossible for me to ever have a power exchange relationship with a dominant man who wanted control, but had no interest in psychology or a spiritual life; who did not have a deep interest in the inner world of the mind. For whatever reasons I am drawn inward, to a place of peace. A dominant who had no interest in that would really have a limited repertoire to offer me. Of course, sex in particular ways is an enticing thought, but sensory deprivation in various guises thrills me to the core. An empty mind, a mind at peace, is the ultimate goal.
It must sound odd to the man in the street, embracing the discomfort, but so many submissives do just that on a regular basis. We are bound in odd positions with rope or chains; spanked, whipped, caned. Sex is sometimes not as prescribed in romantic novels. We may not say as much, but many submissively minded people don't mind, under the right circumstances, being choked a little, pushed or shoved against a wall; manhandled in a myriad of ways. None of this is exactly...comfortable.
I can't always make it on Tuesdays, so when I do get to sit on my cushion in that public space I return to the experience in a truly heartfelt way. It feels the perfect place for me.
'Give yourself permission to relax'
'There's no-one else who needs you and nowhere else you have to be.'
Bliss.
In the beginning, whilst I was learning to meditate, it was a restless experience. I'd sometimes wonder how I'd ever get through the hour. It took time to accept the discomfort, the roaming thoughts and the endless calling of my mind back to the breath. Now, the empty mind transports me to a deep peace.
Like us all, I experience emotions - happiness, sadness, frustration, anger. Emotional states come and go, rise and fall, but I didn't necessarily understand them. I'd feel, say, jealousy, and feel overwhelmed by the emotion. That is, my whole physical body would be involved - the heart would beat faster and my head would feel foggy. Potentially, I'd react to the emotion; perhaps say something that I'd regret later, or perhaps just fester inside myself. I was aware that I did not want to react that way, but I didn't always have the tools to prevent a reaction, inner or outer reaction.
Very recently, someone said something and I could feel my instantaneous reaction - a small reaction - inside myself. I would best categorize it as a 'hurt feeling'. It wasn't earth shattering at all, but I felt it. It was very real. But, instead of allowing it to overcome me, or disable me, I asked a question.
'What was that you just felt? What was that hurt feeling about?'
I explored the emotion and quickly identified it as a touch of jealousy. I would have liked to have myself what he was talking about, his experience with another woman. Interestingly, once I identified the emotion, and then why the emotion had come into my internal world; that is, once I actually went to the emotion and felt it in its entirety, I found myself able to immediately let it go. I embraced it, then dismissed it. I felt strong and empowered.
It would be impossible for me to ever have a power exchange relationship with a dominant man who wanted control, but had no interest in psychology or a spiritual life; who did not have a deep interest in the inner world of the mind. For whatever reasons I am drawn inward, to a place of peace. A dominant who had no interest in that would really have a limited repertoire to offer me. Of course, sex in particular ways is an enticing thought, but sensory deprivation in various guises thrills me to the core. An empty mind, a mind at peace, is the ultimate goal.
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