And the feeling is good

I can view a photograph such as the one above and dwell on it extensively. I might sit and watch this image a dozen or more times, and then a day later return to it and watch it all over again. I might masturbate to the image or simply find myself thinking about it, and the extended scenarios that are conjured relating to it, whilst I am driving in the car or sitting in the audience waiting for a show to commence.

These moments can derail me. They tend to arrest my desires to be productive and I often find I have to write about it so that I can put some sort of finality to the compulsive thinking about it. I write this now in the hope that it may act as some sort of 'orgasm' allowing me to get productive fast, as is necessary.

Although we often do what we must, when we have our way we do what we want or what brings us pleasure. I think that when I see an image such as this it floods my brain with positive feelings and energy. My mind remembers the times when my husband has done something vaguely similar and I process once again the enormous sense of enrichment I felt after one of these sessions. It lifts my spirits and makes me feel whole and complete. I am immediately elevated.

I took a personality test again just before which confirmed that I am a INFP personality, which basically means that I express myself better in writing than I do in oral language and that I tend to process the world according to how I feel rather than what is logical.

It's true. I am in the 2% or so of the population that seems to be overly aware of how they feel and those feelings matter a great deal to them. I look to be happy and content with my life in my own unique way. I seek out those people who allow me to feel complete and deeply comfortable in my own skin. Inclined to dream my way through life at every possible opportunity I am well positioned to have a boss in my life who is more logical and practical; stern but fun loving; appreciative of the positive and negative aspects of my nature that is wholly ingrained.

It is said that the INFP personality is easily misunderstood. I think we types, as introverted and dreamy as we tend to be, do wonderfully well under the control of someone else if we feel understood and appreciated. Yes, we don't always function terribly well on our own, but some people don't mind that about us. Our child-like enthusiasm is attractive to some people. When that is tapped into and when we can shine in this way, I think that's when you see the best of us.

On one level I take power exchange extremely seriously. It's so much more than a game. Yet, at the same time it's the most delicious game that was ever invented. To accept the dominance that is exerted in this photograph and to provide service in that way completes my needs for taking the dynamic seriously at the same time as it provides satiation for my need for having a lot of fun.

I adore the exchange of energy. I adore the way this sort of play makes me feel. I am always chasing those feel-good moments and if I can't get them in my day to day life I'll happily search them out in my mind.  To feel adoration for someone is about as happy as I can possibly be and I adore to be led.