Cycles being what they are, the desire to write here happened yesterday. My husband was itching to tell me things yesterday afternoon but seeing how hard I was trying to reconstruct the previous hour of my life on paper he left me to my own devices.
This morning when I woke up I had the strong desire to listen to Paul McCartney sing 'Blackbird' and on one of the clips he explained that his inspiration for the song was that girls are sometimes called 'birds'. Ha! While I knew that, I hadn't actually associated that in my thoughts about the song or my mental images during the meditation spoken of in the previous post. I have to say if you allow your mind to just rest and at other times such as walking or listening to music to simply wander where it will, it's so interesting the linkages one can make. If you soften into the process and are in no way impatient, the truth will come to you.
Who we are, what we stand for, what we need and what is right for us is deeply embedded and encoded in our psyche. First, you have to know yourself very well and be scrupulously honest with yourself. I also think you have to ponder important questions. To whom do you belong? From where do you get your sustenance? Are the steps you are taking today leading you to the right place tomorrow? We live in the now, for sure, with no certainty of tomorrow and yesterday gone, but it is now that leads to the next moment. Every decision needs to be intentional. One can't leave the conscience behind. One can't have an empty head when in the process of decision making. This much, I have learned.
Desperation is a nasty state of mind that leads to no good thing. At the same time, to admit that one is desperate is good. I did that. My mind that is capable of intelligent thought knew that my husband had deadlines and very critical deadlines at that, but there was no other choice. I was, quite simply, desperate. I expressed my desperation. It makes me smile to say that his associate on the other end of the phone was having a similar experience with his girl. We both wanted to get laid and stuff the deadline! Like the good men that they are, they put down tools for an hour or so and took their women to bed; played with them and made life sweet again; returned to their conference call and got on with the job at hand.
I noticed the spring in my step immediately. My daughter and I went to see a fabulous one woman performance last night and I noticed how alive I felt. We were driving into the carpark when a man in his car heading out held out a ticket for me. "It's good until 1 am," he said as I took it out of his hand. "You are very kind," I said to him and we both smiled wide. We picked up a Thai meal before the show and I told the woman how delicious it was. She was happy and smiled back widely too. At the show, we needed to sit separately and I immediately engaged the lovely young man beside me. I was in really good form. I sorta wanted to spread the joy I felt around.
The show was great! She's a woman from NYC who has worked in Harlem in challenged school districts and the script is outstanding; her acting sublime. So, we stopped off in a fancy wine bar on the way to the car and had a lovely talk together, engaging as best we could the darling young man serving us, recently come to Australia and with very little English as yet.
The sex for me was restorative; to be loved; touched; used. This is a requirement of mine.
This morning when I woke up I had the strong desire to listen to Paul McCartney sing 'Blackbird' and on one of the clips he explained that his inspiration for the song was that girls are sometimes called 'birds'. Ha! While I knew that, I hadn't actually associated that in my thoughts about the song or my mental images during the meditation spoken of in the previous post. I have to say if you allow your mind to just rest and at other times such as walking or listening to music to simply wander where it will, it's so interesting the linkages one can make. If you soften into the process and are in no way impatient, the truth will come to you.
Who we are, what we stand for, what we need and what is right for us is deeply embedded and encoded in our psyche. First, you have to know yourself very well and be scrupulously honest with yourself. I also think you have to ponder important questions. To whom do you belong? From where do you get your sustenance? Are the steps you are taking today leading you to the right place tomorrow? We live in the now, for sure, with no certainty of tomorrow and yesterday gone, but it is now that leads to the next moment. Every decision needs to be intentional. One can't leave the conscience behind. One can't have an empty head when in the process of decision making. This much, I have learned.
Desperation is a nasty state of mind that leads to no good thing. At the same time, to admit that one is desperate is good. I did that. My mind that is capable of intelligent thought knew that my husband had deadlines and very critical deadlines at that, but there was no other choice. I was, quite simply, desperate. I expressed my desperation. It makes me smile to say that his associate on the other end of the phone was having a similar experience with his girl. We both wanted to get laid and stuff the deadline! Like the good men that they are, they put down tools for an hour or so and took their women to bed; played with them and made life sweet again; returned to their conference call and got on with the job at hand.
I noticed the spring in my step immediately. My daughter and I went to see a fabulous one woman performance last night and I noticed how alive I felt. We were driving into the carpark when a man in his car heading out held out a ticket for me. "It's good until 1 am," he said as I took it out of his hand. "You are very kind," I said to him and we both smiled wide. We picked up a Thai meal before the show and I told the woman how delicious it was. She was happy and smiled back widely too. At the show, we needed to sit separately and I immediately engaged the lovely young man beside me. I was in really good form. I sorta wanted to spread the joy I felt around.
The show was great! She's a woman from NYC who has worked in Harlem in challenged school districts and the script is outstanding; her acting sublime. So, we stopped off in a fancy wine bar on the way to the car and had a lovely talk together, engaging as best we could the darling young man serving us, recently come to Australia and with very little English as yet.
The sex for me was restorative; to be loved; touched; used. This is a requirement of mine.
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