Not all submissives enjoy being spanked I realize, but a great many of them do. Well, perhaps they don't enjoy it at the time on all levels or any levels, but the spanking does satisfy them later, at least in some way. They may enjoy the memory. Perhaps they are proud that they endured it. Perhaps they are proud they were pleasing to the Top/Dominant. Perhaps they just feel better after a spanking. If the spanking was given to punish and then forgive obviously it leads to a cleansing sort of state and that is a highly desired outcome.
I think many submissives enjoy wearing marks and I think many submissives enjoy that feeling when they sit down that it hurts a bit. For a great many submissives, a spanking is sexually arousing and a sexually aroused person is usually a happy person. I don't think that it is possible (is it?) to be sexually aroused and unhappy (at least not completely) so if sexual arousal is the outcome of a spanking then it certainly can't be all bad.
I've been thinking about the situation where a girl may be more than spanked by her Top/Dominant; where the word "spanking" really is not the right word. Some girls are whipped, beaten, caned, thrashed and paddled far beyond what I, or dare I say even most girls could tolerate. Sometimes, this does not occur because the Top/Dominant is cruel or vicious or over the top or because the submissive enjoys that level of pain but because it is thought to be therapeutic for the girl. She seems more settled after this 'treatment'.
I have long been fascinated by this sort of situation. About three years ago I read of a news report from Russia where psychologists asked for volunteers suffering depression who would be caned regularly to see if this had any effect on their depressive states. Believe it or not they got their volunteers and whilst some of them made complaints about the pain of the canings themselves and the psychologists had to talk them into returning for future sessions, it was apparent that the canings had a profound effect on their mental state.
I never forgot that news report and I have wondered about it ever since. I read in the past week a psychology blog wherein the reasons for cutting (self harm) was explored and I left a comment asking if she had anything to offer re using whippings in replacement of cutting. She could offer me no specific data except to say that it appeared that the mental state had altered the pain for pleasure and that this appeared to have a physiological effect which led to reduced anxiety (in the same way that cutting may temporarily reduce anxiety).
I used to read a blog written by a Chinese/American slave and she talked of the fact that her man instigated daily swats. At times, she endured long and hard disciplinary sessions so at first she wondered what effect 5 or 6 firm swats to her bottom could produce. Each morning before she was ready to leave the apartment she was to come to him and bare her bottom so that he could swat it with his hand firmly. She soon came to realize, she said, that these swats were extremely affirming of their relationship and that she appreciated them very much. The consistency of this approach kept her happy and contained.
From personal experience I can say that both strategies; an occasional sound caning/paddling and a daily swatting has had a positive effect on me. I don't run around asking for a sound caning or paddling and I get into position reluctantly when they come up, but on some level I definitely enjoy them whilst they are in progress and afterwards I hold onto them as a very positive memory. I feel quite buoyant after them.
Such treatment is arousing to me for sure but more than that, I like very much that I was dominated in this way. I like that I had no control. I like that very much. I also like the way my bottom feels afterwards; the way it feels to sit down and I like the way my mind works after a darn sound hiding. I think with great clarity. I feel happy and very nicely put in my place. I feel elevated and content.
Now, I am not going to lie about some residual effects. My husband says that there is a 48 hour danger period after such a session and there is always the risk that I will attempt to wrestle back control with words. This is a totally sub-conscious thing but he assures me it does happen and unfortunately this has made him reluctant at times to risk this happening. He will bypass it altogether he says if he feels he has to endure this wrestling of control because that is a pain in the ass for him. I regret this behaviour and try hard to monitor myself.
I have also found marvellous results from a daily spanking. We've tried this in two ways. We had a longish period of time where I came to him each evening when I was ready for bed and got about 6 swats with his hand or a piece of wood he happened to have in his study which produced a lovely thud. I found this very centering.
The other way we have done this is to get 4 or so stripes with the cane on waking or very soon thereafter. Whilst I was able to come to him mostly to get my evening swats, I found that I was not mentioning when he forgot to bring out the cane in the morning and this died a natural death, which is unfortunate because they really did do me a tonne of good. In the past few days he has been back to the morning caning but our boys are with us in a smallish holiday house and unfortunately after a long break I'm a little too vocal right now to proceed.
I'm of the opinion that consistency is very important. A few years ago I was able to be spanked or caned much harder and longer than I am now and that is because they were given consistently. Nowadays, sometimes with long gaps between sessions I feel like a total newbie. And, I don't like that feeling at all. I want to be at least vaguely brave and I want to experience all those 'feel good' hormones or whatever they are that flood my brain. Whether that is physiological or something else, I want that feeling back!
I happen to think that the spanking revs up my body which kick starts my brain. The spanking reminds me of my status and of the fact that I am under some one's control. That reminder together with the physical evidence and after effect of the spanking keeps me feeling contained and in the submissive state, which is a natural state for me, consistent with my nature. Since there is an aspect to my personality that is very independent and in conflict with my nature the spankings keep me grounded. To use vernacular that cindi would understand, the spankings stop 'the girl' from keeping cindi locked away. This is a good thing.
(P.S. I have been advised by email that there is a compatability issue with some browsers and blogspot making it impossible to comment. For over a month I have been unable to post on blogspot with an Internet Explorer browser and find that the only reliable browser for blogging is Firefox. The cynic in me wonders if this is a google/microsoft war, but who knows!)
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We will see if this comment makes it to the blog. I am using the Chrome browser.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that most of these issues seem to revolve around Internet Explorer.
This is a very good post, I think that spanking is a very powerful centering mechanism. I am not certain how it all works in the mind.
David: It does seem that Internet Explorer is the culprit, yes. Frankly, I am glad it isn't just me. As you know, the issues were sending me a little crazy there for a while.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment. I enjoyed writing this post. I think it somehow relates to a thought in our primal minds that it is our caveman taking charge. Do you relate to that at all? (smiles)
Vesta,
ReplyDeleteYou and I have spoken numerous times and often at great lengths about spankings and the effect they have on some. I completely understand how the spankings keep "the girl" quiet and allow a sense of containment, peace and comfort within. Although spankings are not necessarily the tool that works for me, I have other physical manipulations that do work therefore I can relate whole heartedly to the spanking reinforcement.
I believe many people like consistency, thrive on it. Lord knows I do and I can see how a spanking ensures that, keeps the natural order of things.
I hope we can chat soon. Enjoy your weekend.
xx
~a
goodgirl: You make an important point: that it is not necessarily the spanking but whatever physical manipulation works for the individual. There are numerous opportunities to provide someone with a feeling of being contained and at peace, from spanking, to a corset, to sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. One could use one's imagination to great effect. Eons ago I did a yoga stance (which I called 'bar time') which gave me a sense of consistency. It is was not painful but I suppose it did have a little discomfort that worked for me. Perhaps that is why I enjoy yoga!
ReplyDeleteIf there can be consistency I think that is a huge plus - and that relates to anything I can think of.It does seem rather critical if one is going to do something well that there is a consistent approach - you can't play the piano well if you don't practice and that applies to anything else we do, I suspect. I do wonder if self-control of all parties is at the heart of all we do. Both top and bottom need to ensure that consistency is maintained and that can be the real challenge.
I look forward to chatting with you too. I shall look out for your green light!
I suspect that our brains begin to fall into patterns that reinforce themselves. We can become unduly focused on ourselves. A certain amount of that may be depressive. It may just pull us into a kind of mental hole.
ReplyDeleteApplying a spanking or its harsher relatives probably moves our focus from ourselves. It breaks up the patterns and forces us to reset all our thoughts. In addition, spankings provide an intense experience of the other person really focusing on us. I think we experience that attention as emphasizing our importance to that person. A spanking comes with implicit acceptance (ultimately) and reaffirmation of our relationship with the other person.
Physiologically, it also stimulates our genitals, because the same nerves that service the buttocks also service the genitals. So, a spanking is a form of intense sexual stimulation.
This all combines to give the person on the receiving end a powerful physical experience. While the experience itself may not be enjoyable it still has great value, reconnecting us and helping us forget (at least for the moment) our self-doubts and petty gripes. The body and mind become concerned with immediate survival in the face of the pain, so other things on our agenda may seem less important.
A very good topic, Vesta. I hope you can get back to some consistency on this.
Rich: Thank you for your comment.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying hard to catch my thoughts in relation to spanking and I noticed yesterday morning when I was upset with my husband that the moment he picked up the wooden spoon (we were in the kitchen) it had a settling effect on me. The sting of it is quite profound and six swats later, I immediately felt more settled and calm. Did it 'kick start' or re-wire my brain, did I settle down once the dynamic and his authority to do such a thing had been restored or was I 'pulling myself in' before he decided to give me a real paddling? I honestly don't know. All I know is that I was better for it having happened.
I think he noticed that calmng effect and this morning he spanked me soundly. I was aware that I had a very settled day in my mind because of it. In fact, after the spanking we talked about all sorts of topics around the issue and beyond and he quietly acknowledged the "need" now for this sort of consistent containment and that I was, in my own way, crying out for it.
I have wondered today if once the physical sensations of spanking begin, there is no turning back, since I managed for over 20 years not to need them before they became part of my life.
I certainly don't discount the theory that the attention and oonnection of spanking is a huge positive in this lifestyle.