In my new life on my own, it's busy and involved, but I have made time to explore what my future might look like. I have a plan to simplify life so that I can engage as much as I would like with my family and take up opportunities as they come my way. I am not there yet, very much in the interim stage of sorting that out, but that's the plan.
I am also committed not to wait for that day on the other side of this work to be happy. I make space every day for what some call 'a pocketful of happiness'. I am rarely triggered and seem to be jogging along in a relatively peaceful place the vast majority of the time.
I am aware of the advice of Peter Crone that we don't know what the future will bring. Will I ever have unconditional love again? Some other form of love again? Something else entirely? I don't know the answer to these questions and there's liberation in letting go of knowing. In other words, I do my best to dwell in the 'now'. I have no idea how I will manage to pull off all that has to be done, it's a truckload of responsibility I have never had before on my own, but I am kind of amazed at my ability to stay strong and centred through this storm.
In terms of embracing my erotic authenticity I have grown in leaps and bounds. It was pointed out to me that there is no specific time to consider a new partner or maybe just an erotic partner. It's not the easiest venture for me but nor is it impossible. I have embraced the fact that I have assets to offer in term of what I can bring to someone's life and that sort of inner confidence feels good.
It's a whole other way to view life. I have had my children; I have been married. I don't need to do that again and that offers up possibilities never thought of before. I am going slow, of course, but it's a nice thought that I might have a 'friend' to explore my inner passions. As I said, it's baby steps for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment