Befriend yourself.

 It might be a confronting thought for some people. I know it was for me, until I embraced the wisdom therein. It's this. Regardless of companions along the way - spouses, children, extended families, business associates and random people we meet as we go about living out our days - we walk the path of our individual lives alone.

We carry on a dialogue with ourselves, critique ourselves, berate ourselves and tap ourselves on the back. Regardless of what we say to other people, we know internally how we are doing; if we are proud of ourselves, or scared, or lonely, or fearful, or if we know it's time for something new.

In essence, we compete against no-one but ourselves. Really let that statement land.

We can keep eternally busy and maybe these thoughts may never come up. But, they will. They do. We all, at the least, have dark nights of the soul whether we choose such reflections or not.

I try to keep it simple here in the journal; try to narrow it down to one idea even when my brain is flooded with thoughts. So let me tell you about the pain in my left shoulder area; this almost constant nagging pain that has been there for years.

It's an injury, I am told. It's arthritis, I am told. It's where you hold your emotional pain, I am told. There's some truth to all this analysis.

Yet, something deep in the psyche whispered to me that I had some power over the pain. What gave me hope was that in a deeply relaxed state at a retreat a few years back, I left the retreat pain free.

When I returned to my life, the pain returned with me, but what I had realized was that injury or not, arthritis or not, mental pain or not, it was possible to be pain free.

I read widely and so I can't say exactly where my inspiration stemmed from exactly, but a few days ago I found myself in conversation with my body. It was a yoga-free period as I nursed a sore back muscle and instead of going to a class, I was doing some simple yoga movements at home. 

I found myself saying internally, 'It's okay body. You and I are on the same team. You don't need to keep giving me signals. I'm looking after me now.'

I cannot take full credit for the vast improvement in my shoulder area since I did have an acupuncture treatment last week. Still, something's changed, profoundly changed in my relationship with the pain. To not get too weird, I acknowledged it; acknowledged what it might be doing to help me, in its strange sort of way. I talked back to it, offered to be in consort with it, and in doing so, found relief, a truce of sorts.

To see myself as the star of my own life; as the one walking solo through my own life (together with companions, of course) was to remove anyone else being responsible for my well-being. This provided me with a lightness of being. (Note: I should say I have been listening to Worthiness recordings from richsmithhypnosis.com and highly recommend them)

I can honestly say that if I had an easy sort of path, someone who offered me the kind of attention and affection I have always craved, a comfortable life, I would have stayed in my comfortable lane. What reason would there have been to leave? Who can blame those with blessed lives for thinking that life is about being comfortable; more and more comfortable?

I once asked a wise woman what I should do now? At my stage of life, what would make a difference? She suggested I should not feel burdened by a need to seek to do more; if something comes, let it come, she said, but don't force it.

I took that advice, awaiting patiently a sign of where I could do better, or more. After trauma, first you have to heal yourself. Then, you can take your healed self beyond. That's the stage I am at; actively seeking to venture further and further outside my comfort zone; to see what I am capable of.

It's some old saying, isn't it - that the solution lies within?

A recent acquaintance likes to say, 'If you can't be happy without her, you can't be happy with her.'

Using fewer words, I suggest, 'Befriend yourself.'

Befriend all parts of yourself and be comfortable with the truth: that you are a work in progress, as you should be, and always were.