Friday, December 9, 2022

To be delighted

 I've been hungry for something lately, hungry for a dive into my own darker desires. Alone for an evening I turned onto 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. It was late and I was tired so I flipped forward, looking for scenes that might scratch the itch.

He's taken on a novice. She hasn't even thought about what he has been fixating on his whole life so it's a pretty hard sell. I think watching this time I was mostly aware of his frustration, and his patience. But how, with all that attention, could one not be entranced, even just a little?

This morning, I wondered how I might find some little morsel, a bite for my starving soul, when the thought occurred that I might go back to a time on this journal. I chose September 2009 and reading there I realized immediately that it was the interconnection with another person, the dance, that delighted me; a sweet morsel to have with one's chai tea, you know?

Delight. That's what I once had. And how delicious it was.

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