Friday, March 8, 2019

Behavior

Raising memories and feelings from the sub-conscious can take a long time. If I had been absorbed in a life of full time employment I am not sure that I would have been able to see the full picture of my life, and the lives of other people who I know well. It's not just come to me in snippets here and there; a thought that has halted me such that my mind insists on it being further explored, or a piece of conversation that has struck me as happening thousands of times before, but ultimately as the complete story of an era, of several families over the generations whose lives have intertwined to bring us to the modern day.

It has a unique quality about it - certainly the characters are unique - but also a universal quality about it; that there are soul mates all about me nearly all of whom I will never meet, who have vaguely similar stories with the same theme. I wonder if they are still trying to nut it out - why he responds the way he does, why she responds the way she does...some sort of dance with a vaguely familiar tune. How did we finds ourselves here on the dance floor again, she wonders. Unless you can break it down for yourself, it's a language and a scene from the movie of your life that seems indecipherable.

When and if you do come to realize that you got where you are, or where you were, through a series of  events where little people weren't treated well and grew up with deficits that they then exposed other people to, especially their own children, but perhaps too their siblings and people at their work place, or just in the wider world, you begin to see the damage delivered to the world by the behavior of the individual.

If we posit that even huge world events such as a World War can begin with an event, with individuals not being able to have a conversation that is reasonable and fair, we begin to see how devastating it is to have individuals in any sort of power situation who are not fully formed; rather living out their lives in terms of an inflated ego and crippled morality.

The crisis of a World War, or any war, leaves countless human beings having seen and experienced devastating carnage; the physical body and mind broken.

Survivors return to a more peaceful world once the conflict has reached an end, for now, but with broken minds, they often are in no position to parent the next generation. But, they do, and therein the damage is inflicted once again on innocent children. It goes on and on.

Until, with luck, the behavior is brought to the surface. Until, somehow it gets through to the person that these are people you love and you don't really want to hurt those you love, do you?

Awareness is everything. For as long as we allow unaware behavior to march on into the future, behavior that carries the scars of the past, we can't break out of the cycle of toxic shame, of mental anguish, of an egoic identity that demands its way. For as long as the more empathic souls amongst us allow this demonic egoic identity to thrive in others, refusing to build barriers against such outlandish behavior, we can't stop the devastation of a tidal wave of destruction knocking down the doors of our homes and our world.

This is, if for no other reason, why it seems such a downward turn for our civilization to be satisfied when any person who is so full of himself as to say that he thinks he is the best at nearly everything, to have great power. What the World needs now is full understanding of the overarching damage done by narcissistic abuse; not more people wrapped up in their own importance, but more people willing to devote themselves to providing the love, attention and care that the next generation need in order to stabilize this world and recover from the last century.

It sometimes feels to me like we are living in a world where so many people walk around like aliens without a brain that can decipher right from wrong; that think of manipulative strategies as downright clever. If we don't wake up by the millions pretty darn soon I think we are writing our own death warrants here. The world won't withstand the neglect.


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