Most people have addictions, do something that soothes them in the moment, or that they wish they didn't do, or could give up. Perhaps you find yourself seeking out too much chocolate after dinner, or need more attention than the average person.
Some people take refuge in drugs or alcohol whilst others crave the high of the gym to an obsessive level , or need a lot of casual sex, or power, or control.
Some people become addicted to connection, or trying to forge and maintain a connection with another human being whose interest in that connection is only haphazard; an empath spiraling down into codependence, a submissive person in the domain of an ambivalent dominant perhaps.
Whatever the addiction, there's a story behind that behavior, lots of suffering.
It's said that sometimes people come into your life in order to teach lessons, but addictions can be so long lasting and inevitably they cause a great deal of pain, to the sufferer and to those around them.
We tire of the suffering. That's the reason for suffering. We become desperate to be rid of the addiction. Round and round it goes, so many attempts. So many falls off the wagon.
With tenacity an addiction isn't impossible. If you can pause long enough, breathe, wait it out, the feeling of craving will dissipate. You sense your own strength to withstand the craving.
But, dare I say, that there may well be that one time when the craving is too much, the physiological feelings - perhaps a heaviness in the throat or the chest - can't be battled. You cave in and once again the addiction has the upper hand.
So, trying as hard as we do to be rid of an addiction that is causing havoc to our peace of mind and way or life, what might be missing, if we want it that badly?
Here's the thing. Each time we fail we beat ourselves up, right? If only we were stronger, more committed, then we wouldn't fail.
This is the problem. To overcome an addiction you need to have self compassion. 'Love is always loving you' you might say to yourself. Or, 'I know this is hard. I am with you'. Whatever works for you to settle yourself is fine.
Befriending yourself, it gets easier and your resolve is strengthened. You're not alone any more. Love trumps a craving in the moment. Love is always loving you.
Some people take refuge in drugs or alcohol whilst others crave the high of the gym to an obsessive level , or need a lot of casual sex, or power, or control.
Some people become addicted to connection, or trying to forge and maintain a connection with another human being whose interest in that connection is only haphazard; an empath spiraling down into codependence, a submissive person in the domain of an ambivalent dominant perhaps.
Whatever the addiction, there's a story behind that behavior, lots of suffering.
It's said that sometimes people come into your life in order to teach lessons, but addictions can be so long lasting and inevitably they cause a great deal of pain, to the sufferer and to those around them.
We tire of the suffering. That's the reason for suffering. We become desperate to be rid of the addiction. Round and round it goes, so many attempts. So many falls off the wagon.
With tenacity an addiction isn't impossible. If you can pause long enough, breathe, wait it out, the feeling of craving will dissipate. You sense your own strength to withstand the craving.
But, dare I say, that there may well be that one time when the craving is too much, the physiological feelings - perhaps a heaviness in the throat or the chest - can't be battled. You cave in and once again the addiction has the upper hand.
So, trying as hard as we do to be rid of an addiction that is causing havoc to our peace of mind and way or life, what might be missing, if we want it that badly?
Here's the thing. Each time we fail we beat ourselves up, right? If only we were stronger, more committed, then we wouldn't fail.
This is the problem. To overcome an addiction you need to have self compassion. 'Love is always loving you' you might say to yourself. Or, 'I know this is hard. I am with you'. Whatever works for you to settle yourself is fine.
Befriending yourself, it gets easier and your resolve is strengthened. You're not alone any more. Love trumps a craving in the moment. Love is always loving you.
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