The sacral chakra

When you find yourself on a 'spiritual journey' of some sort it's a clear indication that something about your inner or outer life has gone wrong. Catherine Ingram, a woman who has met nearly all the great spiritual leaders in terms of interviewing them likes to say, 'I hang out with the broken hearted'.

It's almost guaranteed that an exploration outwards on this spiritual journey leads you inward. Meditation, of course, is a going inward experience. In the course of meditation I think most people search for the nothingness phenomena only to realize that the mind doesn't stop for more than a few breaths at a time.

In fact, it becomes an exercise in acceptance. The mind doesn't stop but it gets quieter as breathing is deeper and more relaxed. The thoughts in the mind are more available and so we notice the thoughts, the madness of the mind, and we find that it doesn't really matter after all. We can't control the thoughts - didn't ask for them, aren't responsible for them - and so we can begin to laugh at the absurdity of them.

Somewhere in the process you learn more about yourself on the spiritual journey. Most likely, it is the behavior of other people that led you to go off and explore the spiritual life, but isn't it ironic that it all leads back to you, your understanding that forgiveness of others is a gift to yourself, for example.

Katie Byron is famous for her very simple and profound realization that life is much happier and calmer if we remind ourselves constantly, until it becomes second nature, that we need to look after our own business, and not that of other people. There's no tolerance for trying to change or modify others, for spending time trying to fix people. As she says, if you busy yourself worrying about other people's lives, who is it that is living your life?

When things get chaotic and dramatic in your life, I do feel that there is good cause to investigate that, if for no other reason than to stop the drama. Some people have more tolerance for drama. As a younger person I did better with drama than I do in my older years. Eventually, drama wore me down and I needed to put an end to it.

I became almost an expert in the reasons for drama in one's soul and behavior, and once I had that sorted out, I became adept in stopping the drama to the extent possible. There is a warning here, a pitfall that comes with this sort of knowledge and expertise. In the same ways that stars in  the eyes will protect young love, it is easier to love someone when one is ignorant of what is going on. Disconnection occurs when conversation fails. You are on your own.

For those with an open and forgiving heart, almost too much empathy, it is a shock and a deeply felt sense of discomfort to realize that the heart can close down. Defensive measures used to end drama and chaos of those with limited awareness or consciousness can create a blockage in the sacral chakra. This comes as a great shock.

Accepting reality, the 'what is', the question becomes, how does one maintain boundaries such that chaos and drama is kept at bay at the same time as one endeavors to open the heart again; puts on display again the sort of vulnerability that allows for intimacy that is actually deeply desired? This is part of a closed heart chakra, the push and pull.

It's interesting that as a blockage is acknowledged, an opportunity is created for the heart to begin to open up again, much like a flower. It is not likely to be a gush of momentum, for the heart is tender now. More like a soft breeze that flows through an open window, felt gently on the skin. It feels good. It feels like a delightful change in the atmosphere of the inner landscape. One begins to feel that healing is occurring.

A Day in the Life

Yesterday was going to be a good one from the get go, for me personally. I have had some vascular surgery recently and have to live in tight, uncomfortable support hosiery day and night for a time. The weather has been hot and I've been uncomfortable. It was my first night without the hosiery and I slept soundly and woke refreshed.

Knowing I had to get to school for my little volunteer job I dashed through the morning tasks and immersed myself in the tasks with the children.

Small group work is incredibly intensive with young children who are struggling. It can be exhausting, but I revel in it. I also love that my mind is entirely focused. I never have a random thought when I am with them because they demand 100% of me.

I was particularly thrilled that Charles, a distracted boy, engaged with me about the World Cup qualifier to happen that evening. I am not clueless when it comes to soccer and we talked like a couple of pros about Australia's chances. It is so fascinating that when a distracted child gets onto a topic of which he or she is passionate, the focus is sharp.

By the time I finished classes the announcement had been made that Australia voted overwhelmingly YES for same sex marriage in the voluntary postal ballot. More people voted than in the American election, as I understand it. It was a day to be proud of one's Australian citizenship. It brought with it much collective happiness.

I managed to visit with my daughter for some afternoon tea. She's struggled lately with some negative emotions and we talked at length about this a few weeks ago. She said she was doing much better and we had another very frank talk over coffee about our perfectionist natures and ways to break that down. She seemed a lot better. 'I think I've been very hard on myself,' she said. Oh boy, that's the understatement of the year, and wonderful that she was seeing that now. I felt relieved.

Naturally, we watched the World Cup qualifier between Australia and Honduras in the evening. We had to wait until some minutes into the second half to get the first goal and the celebration was jubilant. From there, the team rose, and they fairly quickly finished off the task with another two wonderful goals. Certainly, Honduras never gave up and to their credit managed a goal of their own in the final minutes. By then, the crowd was already in mass celebration, singing those iconic songs of ours.

Moments later, we saw visions of colorful fireworks going off over Sydney Harbor Bridge near to our majestic Sydney Opera House and I found myself saying to my husband and son, 'What an amazing day for Australia!'

There was a sense in me that my heart was opening wider. It reminded me that we are indeed one, connected to the whole, not at all separate but very much connected to one another. It felt incredibly hopeful for our future, and the future of our children and our grandchildren. One by one by one, one vote at a time, we can make a change for the better.