I did a short course over the weekend on Sound Healing. In there, I became a little curious about astrology and the Gene Keys. So, I plugged in my birthdate and a few other details and up came my profile.
Some of the material I related to. Other bits of information didn't resonate with me. The sentence that I found most confusing was one wherein I was told I am at my best when a leader and when working with a group.
I can't help but wonder where the connection in my mind between 'slavery' and 'eroticism' came from. Did I see 'The Story of O' when I was impressionably young?
I also did some research into the Feminine Core Wound and this material brought up that I need to tap into my inner vitality; that my feminine core wound was dissatisfaction.
It's interesting to me that in my life I have sought the assistance of three mental health professionals. The two men discarded my thought that perhaps I should be achieving something out in the wider world. The female psychologist got me doing academic work that would lead to endeavors, possibly with other people but probably not.
There is, however, a common thread through all this material: that I should seek to be a positive influence on as many people as possible, through whatever field.
I can feel deep within me, and have done so for months now, a yearning to launch into something, but you know what comes up and has been coming up for some time? To go find a dance studio. My deepest desire is to move.
Somewhere in my Gene Keys profile I read that I was ahead of my time. I am meant, it was written, to offer the world something new and fresh; something that it hadn't seen before. Man, the responsibility!
It was also written somewhere that I needed to be aware of beauty. Now you are talking my language. I had a strong desire for many years to have a store with the name 'Beautiful things'. It was felt that in filling a store with all things I found beautiful, it may not lead to commercial success necessarily. Beauty is after all, in the eye of the beholder.
It's all a bit confusing right now. I can say this. The soundscape I was sent to heal my feminine core wound was wonderful. I immediately fell to sleep for two and half hours in a profoundly transformative way. I woke heavy and almost, but not quite, touched on the moment of my conception. I know that sounds weird but sound therapy is a weird and most wonderful thing. More on that soon.
I am left with the mystery of it all. A sense of mystery is a good thing and maybe as close as we can get to what lies beyond.
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