My take on Science

 You aren't meant to change anyone. That's the theory of living peacefully on this Earth. The argument goes, 'how much success do you have changing yourself, so good luck changing anyone else'. This is so.

The interesting aspect of a long marriage is that you would be pretty remiss if you didn't notice patterns emerge. I have indeed noticed patterns - good and bad. I try to be subtle about the bad ones but sometimes I go just for broke and state my opinion with no expectation I can effect change. I know I cannot effect change.

There are many times to be in 'bardo' - in the gap, in some intermediary state - in life, and sometimes in my marriage, I feel I am in bardo, just watching someone commit all those crimes against living a long life.

It's so interesting to me that intelligent people - let's call them educated people - can focus beautifully on their diet, their supplements, medical tests and all those 'adding on' elements of maintaining good health, but possibly fail to notice that they go through life as if a saber tooth tiger is chasing them.

Can you even begin to imagine what sort of damage a routine fight/flight response does to your nervous system? The heart, the brain can't possibly be saying, 'oh super, lots of supplements coming my way, plenty of kale, so that should protect me against the fact that the human body in which I reside is in a constant state of threat and angst'. I don't think so.

If you have ever seen a baby being born as I have several times, you know that they come into the world with only one thought: where's the lover of me?

If you have ever seen a person leave this world, is it not the very same thought?

Yes, things need to be done in a day, often very important things. We need to jump hurdles. We sometimes need to do a sprint. Once that's done, returning to a state of homeostasis, of equanimity is incredibly important. 

Here I am. Breath in, breath out. Sound of a truck far away. Sound of a bird close by. Alive, aware, awake. Happy to be so.

We can get caught up about our health as if it's somehow not about the body attached to the head; as if what we put our nervous system through isn't involved; as if we can deny the bleeding obvious - sleep at night, get up in the morning and get sun in your eyes, move daily - and not pay the price.

I wonder if -aholics are refusing to acknowledge their own behavior. If, for example, the workaholic knew what he was doing to himself, and to the partner and family,  would he re-evaluate? I am not sure he would. The nervous system has been disrupted - what they often call PTSD now - and until that is addressed, it's just more of the same.

I think that's why Bessel Van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score) puts so much credit on a yoga practice; it's an opportunity for mind and body to get back in sync and for equanimity to arise quite naturally.

I am all for the benefits of science, but a science that includes a doctor asking a patient about the way they conduct their life, and most importantly their inner life. Without that, you are just shooting darts at a board.