Gratitude

 Until today, I was of the understanding that a gratitude practice involved taking a minute or two to think about a few things for the day, or maybe the week - a period of time - for which you were grateful. So, a person might think a little about it and come up with something like - I am grateful for the meal my wife cooked for me...I am grateful that I had my raincoat with me because it rained...I am grateful to have beautiful and kind hearted children...I am grateful to have lost no-one to COVID-19.

A person might be grateful for the little things and for the overarching picture of one's life, and anything in between. And that's not a bad thing. It's nice.

However, according to the science, it's not nearly as good as developing a script about gratitude that you can write, rehearse, embed in the mind, and bring up for a minute or two on a regular basis.

I'm writing this from memory, no notes, and it was a long podcast I was listening to, but here's the idea in a nutshell.

First, we sort out lives best when we have a narrative. We like to have a beginning, a middle and an end; protagonists and antagonists. We like stories. It's the same for gratitude. It's too broad and random of strokes for us to come up with a little list of things for which to be grateful. We need some structure around it and creating that structure is straightforward.

So, sit quietly with yourself and cast your mind to a time near or far when you felt gratitude for something that someone did for you.

Alternatively, or as a second story, think about a time when you did something for someone else and felt the receiving of their gratitude.

Now, write yourself a little script. It could be bullet points but get it down on paper, or go through the motions of the experience visually in your mind.

Here is an example:

In October 2016 I returned from New Zealand where I attended a 7 day retreat, mainly experienced in silence.

The next day my family celebrated by birthday at a lunch held at a restaurant they knew I loved.

When we returned home after lunch they gave me a gift. There was a card and inside the card were two air tickets to Bali for my husband and me.

I instantly began to weep. This bamboozled them until I managed to get out the words, "I am so lucky to have you."

The gratitude I felt was a whole body and mind experience and was expressed in tears. My heart welled with gratitude and spilled over. I felt loved; lucky; appreciated; heartfelt gratitude.

So, there's a little script that I can use; would probably take a minute to conjure and feel through.

Apparently, it's this kind of minute of gratitude, repeated a few times a week, at any time of the day, that releases a positive emotional state that can effect a human in many optimal ways. Should you feel space in and around your heart I think you can take that to mean you did it right.