Doing nothing

 There are people who pick up on other people's energy - positive energy and negative energy. I am one of them. The sensitivity to all the energy out there is so profound that there are times when I, and people like me, need to be alone. You don't need to be a meditator but if you are inclined to absorb the energies about you, time to sit quietly with eyes closed and just breathe is important.

As I do that now, my mind comes into the present moment where everything is...absolutely fine. The house and its surrounds are quiet. There is a sort of vague buzzing, maybe in my ears, but it seems more than that; like I am noticing the energy of my environment.

A minute ago I noticed the rumble of a truck on the freeway in the distance and just now a van of some sort passed down the street on which I live.

I have no desire for company whatsoever but I did open the front door a little this morning (not the security door) with a support, so that the postal man knew I was there, since the front door bell is not operating. I look forward to warmer weather when that little symbol of the world outside my door, an open front door, is in place. It hasn't been a cold winter at all but the winter symbolizes COVID and the introduction of Spring suggests that maybe things are improving.

In fact, things are improving. My city is still locked down. We still have a curfew. Practically everything is still closed. Yet, there are fewer cases every day. By the end of October some services can operate; surgery will be largely resumed for the unwell.

I live in a city that is very cafe latte/chardonnay imbibing. We love socializing. There are constantly food markets and fairs, football games, cricket matches; festivals. I am wondering if it will almost be too much. We used to have so much to choose from it was almost overwhelming. It almost felt wrong to be at home for the weekend. 

In fact, I remember that when someone asked what you did over the weekend, it seemed wrong to say you gardened, or wrote, or read. You needed, it seemed to me, to report a gathering of some sort or going somewhere to see something in particular. I wonder if we will be more inclined to be still or if we will go mad; run from one event and activity to another.

The world runs on momentum. We keep moving. That seems right. Plan something. Do something. I know I feel better in a state of momentum; not too much, but enough.

Sometimes, I ask myself, what are we moving towards? Why can't we sit in the one place and just BE? Why the guilt about that? Are we social losers if we enjoy alone time?

I close my eyes, right hand resting on my chin. I hear birds chirping. I notice the breath rising and falling in my chest. I feel my feet connected to the floor below me. Now, I hear the reverberation of the refrigerator; ever so slight. And, an aeroplane flying over me; the clicking of the laptop keyboard. 

I begin to feel connected to you; the anonymous reader that might run an eye over these words. Do you ever feel what I feel? Do you need to connect in with your own body; to live in your senses? Do you notice the moment by moment passing of time that lies behind all the momentum of the world? Do you, like I, feel energized by stopping long enough to take the time to listen?