Thursday, December 18, 2014

Bodily sensation

In the absence of adequate stimulation being applied to my body, I apply it myself. I did so just now. It occurred to me about an hour ago that I'd like to push into my ass the plug that I refer to as Mr Bom. Everything about this process is a ritual that transforms my thinking brain to the parred down  space to which I am addicted.

I gather the plug, lube, baby wipes and a towel. I undress, lay down on my side and lube the plug with care. I bring him to the hole and whilst I very slowly ease him in, I close my eyes. It's a very meditative, no-thought sort of time when I am only aware of the sensations I am creating. At his thickist part I must endure, riding over that sensation of being stretched to the max and then giving one big final push inwards to enable him home.

I am instantly immobilized; self bondage. For up to a minute I cannot move, think, speak or even take in my surroundings. I am absorbed in the sensations which I assume are not dissimilar to taking cocaine. It's a trip and one I repeat routinely. Yes, I am an addict.

A few minutes later, my whole body responds sexually. I am completely aroused and the urge to touch myself is overwhelming. Images flood my brain. I am contained in various ways, tied up, humiliated and beaten. I'm reminded of my status, my position and place. I was born, and shall remain all my life, a submissive girl, I am told. I am to do as I'm told and be punished if I disobey.

My body is marked with implements to remove me of my ego and 'tags' are pierced into my body as permanent pieces of jewellery. These 'tags' are symbols of my high status. I am owned! I'm trained for my body to be thought of as an object that is owned. When I'm told to kneel my mouth cunt opens automatically to satisfy its true purpose. I radiate joy as I provide joy.

This is how I am loved, how I love and how I live. In these day dreams, I am blissfully me. Is it little wonder I love Mr Bom very much.

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