David

I received some very sad news this morning that my dear friend David from A View from the Top has passed away.

David approached me not long after I began to write in this journal some years ago now and we very quickly became firm friends. Although we were writing in cyberspace from opposite ends of the power exchange dynamic it was my friendship that David sought. A loyal and constant friend through the years he was a very steadying influence in my life, always willing to listen to me.

David was prepared to disclose himself to me from the outset. He had complete trust and faith in me as his friend. I knew his real name, where he worked, the circumstances of his private life, the details of his life. More than that, he offered me the workings of his heart and I shared with him his joys and his sorrows, his health status and some of his wide ranging interests. I have a particularly happy memory of commentating the Australian Grand Prix for him a few years ago when he was at work and was frustrated that he couldn't find the race on the Internet.

For a few years David worked the night shift a few days a week. It became a pattern of my life that I would open up the account at about 4 pm on a Sunday afternoon, and over the course of the afternoon and evening, the making of the dinner, the putting out of the garbage and the ironing of the next day's school clothing, we would share anything from the most mundane of daily events right up to in depth discussions about the meaning of life.
 
Within these discussions topics about dominance and submission would often come up and I remember one time that he chose to role play with me, him acting as my Dominant.

'You have chosen to make me responsible for your well being. So, why would you question my decision?' he asked me. The penny dropped.

He was always exceedingly kind to me, generous of his time and his counsel. Aware that I was technically useless I'd mention that I couldn't do something or other and he'd explain the 'how'of the matter in intricate detail, writing out step by step details.

'Thank you,' I'd say, 'I'll try it later.'
'Do it now while I am online to help you,' he would say, knowing that I'd probably never get to it on my own.

He was never rude or demanding but quietly asserted himself with me, guided me and steered me whilst all the time appearing not to be doing much at all. This was his way.

He once said this:

'I see my role as to keep you safe, like a ten pin bowling ball is contained between the bumpers on either side of the lane.'

No-one was more aware than David that I wrote when I was happy and I wrote when I was sad, and that my writing gyrated from one state to the other in its own constancy.

He had the patience of an angel with me, only occasionally losing his temper with me and revealing his true state of mind as to my explorations. David saw true value in a woman exploring her own needs in various capacities, but under a watchful eye.

'Are you done with this yet?' he'd asked me sometimes and I knew I had exasperated him. Then would come the one word 'Sorry'. He strongly believed that he should not interfere with my explorations but rather, like a beneficent father, indulge me, watching from on high.

Like all of us writing in this space David could be naughty. He once suggested that we open a journal together and that I write from the dominant perspective. He'd be the wise Uncle giving his nephew advice in the background from time to time as to how to dominate his love interest. That was an interesting time!

But, it was when I wrote a single post about Agnes, a pretty dark haired French girl from the country and newly arrived in Paris that he was truly inspired. Frederick spoke to him and he took great pleasure in constructing the story of Frederick's seduction of Agnes. The character of Frederick is David in so many ways; the consummate refined gentleman who quietly and gently expresses his dominant personality. I was delighted to be able to indulge him in this way.

In the past few years it became clear that David was slowing down and that his health was ailing. We grew to spend more time chatting about food or health remedies. The last email I have from him is about a dining venue in my home town that he thought I might enjoy and I was delighted to tell him that I could in fact walk to that establishment from my home. He put me onto adding a few spoonfuls of quinoa into my porridge in the mornings to get some protein, and I never let him live down the day that he ate a whole bag of marshmallows covered in chocolate. I'm sure he regretted sharing that little sin with me and would chide me to resist, or else!

No matter how difficult his health David maintained a strong desire to live and to make the best of his life. Always loyal to those he loved he kept his dominant desires in balance with the rest of his life and he encouraged me to do likewise. He never failed to ask about my husband and children, knowing them all by name. As time wore on his responses in chat became slower, his world smaller, but he never complained, always kept in good cheer and remained positive and hopeful.

Over the years I knew him a pattern emerged in our chats, wise words that would often stop me in my tracks and have me thinking over and over again, 'What a wise man is this!' I sometimes joked that I would gather all his little sayings and philosophies and write them up in a coffee table book. I said I would call it, 'David's Wise Words'.

He scoffed at the idea, of course, but I think a part of him knew that he was an observant man who had been around long enough to understand human nature. Perhaps in the throes of falling in love his judgment could be a little clouded, but he saw the world through clear eyes, knew what he could influence and what he could not. He was at peace with that. 

I will miss him. I miss him. It is so hard not to be able to tell him how much he meant to me. It is so hard not to be able to say 'goodbye'. His blog remains behind to remind us of a true gentleman in this space; an old-fashioned gentleman with impeccable manners and a strong sense of the fitness of things; a truly good man.

May you fly with the angels, dear David.

My love.
xx