I wondered recently what it might be like for a dominant to meet me as I am right now and for the first time, (assuming of course that I'm available and single, which I am not). I wondered what it is that they might like to do to me; that is, how they might like to alter me; what their plan might look like.
If they were to meet me for the first time now, as I am today, they'd find a woman comfortable in the bedroom. They wouldn't need to introduce me to gags, toys, or anal plugs, or even a full covered (other than nostril holes for breathing) latex hood, should that be their inclination, because I've experienced all of that and embraced it.
I'm extremely content with being the submissive in the bedroom, to be taken by surprise and to be dominated in any number of ways. I would happily consider such new Dominant my Owner and that my body belongs to him. I'd happily think of myself as an object for his pleasure because that is the way I've been trained and I take no issue with the training. It's part and parcel of my arousal and mode of thought. The more objectified I am, the stronger and deeper the experience for me.
If the Dominant liked to make considerable marks and bruises in a play session, they'd need to work on that with me, because although I enjoy being challenged with various implements (not necessarily physically but certainly emotionally) I am not accustomed to intense whipping or beating. If that's what they wanted, there'd be considerable work to do in that domain. They'd need to be committed to their goal and they'd probably need to ignore my childlike pleas for mercy as they pushed out my limits. I feel sure there is only so far I would want or could go and a fantasy Dominant would need to accept that. Pushing out my limits regarding pain is a frightening thought for me and an arousing one, in equal measure.
This leads me to say that it is quite possible that a Dominant that met me today may well have to deal with the fact that my history has meant that I have had to learn many strategies for my own self improvement. I am well aware that a D/s relationship could aid me in my path to a better me, but the man in question would not be dealing with a young, easy to mould filly, but rather more of a mare who has developed her own habits, some of them not particularly good or productive.
I'm aware that I have some habits that bother the people with whom I live. In the scheme of things I like to think that they are incidental and that we all have our quirks, but that said, I expect that this fantasy Dominant would want to eradicate them to the extent that is possible. Apparently, not drying off one's back isn't a good thing and nor does my husband enjoy me leaving the bathroom mat before my body is dry. He refers to me as a 'duck' that makes 'puddles' but he's inclinced to exaggeration, of course. It's also not a good thing, it seems, to leave the washing up water in the kitchen sink for any time after the dishes have been done. My eldest son refers to it as a 'chick' thing. Yeah. We know someone's bound to come along any moment now with dishes from another part of the house!
In terms of productivity, I could do with more routine in my life and that's something that I am working towards on my own. I'm prone to procrastination, I know that, especially as it pertains to making phone calls. I'm a little 'phone phobic' and tend to store them up sometimes until it feels more comfortable to make them all in one go. I'm not quite sure how you work with someone with phone phobia but probably getting me to the point of making them right away is the key to the problem because once I've made them I feel so much relief.
There are a number of issues that He could assist me with on a day to day level. My intentions are good about getting to bed well before midnight but often don't come off and I'd certainly like to commit more to a sustained exercise programme and a writing time everyday. On that score I could do with help, although I know that it is nobodies responsibility but mine to sort it.
Over the past years I've gained so much from meditation that if this fantasy Dominant were to insist that I go to my meditation cushion for an hour a day I know he'd turn around my life. Nearly everyone who learns meditative practice can't seem to commit to daily practice but the benefits would be so huge that the thought of someone ensuring I do so is a huge turn on for me, an act of love if ever there was one. I include this in many fantasies and it's not at all uncommon in those fantasies to be sent there with a really sore bottom either, which is a particularly enticing fantasy for me.
I think said fantasy Dominant would put some further work into respect. Whilst I acknowledge his rights over me I do have my own opinions and when silenced on them can find myself becoming somewhat feisty. I am not at all sure that holding in thoughts for long periods is wise for me and fantasy Dom would probably do best to encourage me to air them but in the most respectful and tactful of manners, accepting that his word is final. I am well aware that frustration can lead me to blurt and I've not met a dominant yet who enjoys my blurting, oddly enough. (Added note: I did a Crystal Bowls Playing Meditation last night with emphasis on opening up the heart chakra and experienced great insight last night, which I'll explain at a later time.)
Someone firm, someone who laid down expectations and demanded that they be followed, allowing for some natural reticence on my part to always be told what to do (it's a hard balancing act, I know...) would work best. I am smiling at the memory of my husband saying to me recently after we had had words, 'You'd have steamrollered a weak man within the week'. Okay, that's probably true.
This whole piece of writing was prompted by a little video I saw this week. It wasn't easy to gauge for sure if this was a husband/wife scenario or not but for my purposes I made it so. She was bent over the edge of the bed bottom bared, her knees resting on a wooden bench at the end of the bed. He took off his belt saying something to her that I did not quite get but after about four whacks with it, and whilst she whimpered, he said, 'It makes my point quite clearly, I think.' 'Yes, Sir,' she said. He began to whip her again and as he did, she reached a point where her elbows came off the bed and she raised up a little.
'Keep your elbows on the bed. Don't make me have to start over again,' he said. It wasn't what he said that impressed me but that his tone of voice didn't change. He continued to talk to her in a conversational way, as if they were talking about what to do with their Saturday afternoon over a sandwich at the kitchen table. But, she knew he was a man of his word. She did, later in the video take her elbows off the bed, but just for a fraction of a second and quite instinctively, returning them immediately to their rightful position.
When her punishment was over, he returned the belt between the keepers of his trousers, and had her 'take a seat' on the wooden bench. She's a model, I know, paid to do this, but it seemed pretty obvious to me that she was holding her bottom slightly off the seat by putting some pressure into her hands. It really did hurt. He proceeded to talk to her conversationally in a low tone.
'What will happen if you don't do as told?'
'I'll be spanked, Sir'
'Spanked often and soundly', he remarked, perfectly calmly.
'Yes, Sir'
'I'm expecting 90% or higher on your next assignment. I won't tolerate low grades. Is that clear?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Any lower than that and there will be a much harder spanking next week.'
'Yes, Sir'
When he left the room she lay down on the bed and it then became clear what a very sound spanking she'd taken. Something told me that if this were real life she'd study her little pants off that week to avoid another trip over the edge of the bed.
My head tells me that it is each adults personal responsibility to motivate themselves towards self directed behaviour. We are all capable, with adequate will and intent to change anything about our behaviour that isn't working well. But, it remains an exciting thought for me that a Dominant would assist in this way.
The Dominant in the video didn't rant and scream, didn't do anything but quietly and assuredly reminded her that he was there to administer the motivation she required any time that it was needed. He didn't hug or administer 'after care' either. He had assumed the role of her Disciplinarian for the moment and he wasn't shirking at his task. Whilst there was no evidence of love per se, he would be the same man (and I'm assuming this because I want to assume it) that would make tender love to her that night in the same bed as was her 'whipping post' earlier in the day.
My fantasy Dominant would pretty quickly work out that would work for me too, when there would become a settled period where I achieved my goals. That's the theory, anyway.
If they were to meet me for the first time now, as I am today, they'd find a woman comfortable in the bedroom. They wouldn't need to introduce me to gags, toys, or anal plugs, or even a full covered (other than nostril holes for breathing) latex hood, should that be their inclination, because I've experienced all of that and embraced it.
I'm extremely content with being the submissive in the bedroom, to be taken by surprise and to be dominated in any number of ways. I would happily consider such new Dominant my Owner and that my body belongs to him. I'd happily think of myself as an object for his pleasure because that is the way I've been trained and I take no issue with the training. It's part and parcel of my arousal and mode of thought. The more objectified I am, the stronger and deeper the experience for me.
If the Dominant liked to make considerable marks and bruises in a play session, they'd need to work on that with me, because although I enjoy being challenged with various implements (not necessarily physically but certainly emotionally) I am not accustomed to intense whipping or beating. If that's what they wanted, there'd be considerable work to do in that domain. They'd need to be committed to their goal and they'd probably need to ignore my childlike pleas for mercy as they pushed out my limits. I feel sure there is only so far I would want or could go and a fantasy Dominant would need to accept that. Pushing out my limits regarding pain is a frightening thought for me and an arousing one, in equal measure.
This leads me to say that it is quite possible that a Dominant that met me today may well have to deal with the fact that my history has meant that I have had to learn many strategies for my own self improvement. I am well aware that a D/s relationship could aid me in my path to a better me, but the man in question would not be dealing with a young, easy to mould filly, but rather more of a mare who has developed her own habits, some of them not particularly good or productive.
I'm aware that I have some habits that bother the people with whom I live. In the scheme of things I like to think that they are incidental and that we all have our quirks, but that said, I expect that this fantasy Dominant would want to eradicate them to the extent that is possible. Apparently, not drying off one's back isn't a good thing and nor does my husband enjoy me leaving the bathroom mat before my body is dry. He refers to me as a 'duck' that makes 'puddles' but he's inclinced to exaggeration, of course. It's also not a good thing, it seems, to leave the washing up water in the kitchen sink for any time after the dishes have been done. My eldest son refers to it as a 'chick' thing. Yeah. We know someone's bound to come along any moment now with dishes from another part of the house!
In terms of productivity, I could do with more routine in my life and that's something that I am working towards on my own. I'm prone to procrastination, I know that, especially as it pertains to making phone calls. I'm a little 'phone phobic' and tend to store them up sometimes until it feels more comfortable to make them all in one go. I'm not quite sure how you work with someone with phone phobia but probably getting me to the point of making them right away is the key to the problem because once I've made them I feel so much relief.
There are a number of issues that He could assist me with on a day to day level. My intentions are good about getting to bed well before midnight but often don't come off and I'd certainly like to commit more to a sustained exercise programme and a writing time everyday. On that score I could do with help, although I know that it is nobodies responsibility but mine to sort it.
Over the past years I've gained so much from meditation that if this fantasy Dominant were to insist that I go to my meditation cushion for an hour a day I know he'd turn around my life. Nearly everyone who learns meditative practice can't seem to commit to daily practice but the benefits would be so huge that the thought of someone ensuring I do so is a huge turn on for me, an act of love if ever there was one. I include this in many fantasies and it's not at all uncommon in those fantasies to be sent there with a really sore bottom either, which is a particularly enticing fantasy for me.
I think said fantasy Dominant would put some further work into respect. Whilst I acknowledge his rights over me I do have my own opinions and when silenced on them can find myself becoming somewhat feisty. I am not at all sure that holding in thoughts for long periods is wise for me and fantasy Dom would probably do best to encourage me to air them but in the most respectful and tactful of manners, accepting that his word is final. I am well aware that frustration can lead me to blurt and I've not met a dominant yet who enjoys my blurting, oddly enough. (Added note: I did a Crystal Bowls Playing Meditation last night with emphasis on opening up the heart chakra and experienced great insight last night, which I'll explain at a later time.)
Someone firm, someone who laid down expectations and demanded that they be followed, allowing for some natural reticence on my part to always be told what to do (it's a hard balancing act, I know...) would work best. I am smiling at the memory of my husband saying to me recently after we had had words, 'You'd have steamrollered a weak man within the week'. Okay, that's probably true.
This whole piece of writing was prompted by a little video I saw this week. It wasn't easy to gauge for sure if this was a husband/wife scenario or not but for my purposes I made it so. She was bent over the edge of the bed bottom bared, her knees resting on a wooden bench at the end of the bed. He took off his belt saying something to her that I did not quite get but after about four whacks with it, and whilst she whimpered, he said, 'It makes my point quite clearly, I think.' 'Yes, Sir,' she said. He began to whip her again and as he did, she reached a point where her elbows came off the bed and she raised up a little.
'Keep your elbows on the bed. Don't make me have to start over again,' he said. It wasn't what he said that impressed me but that his tone of voice didn't change. He continued to talk to her in a conversational way, as if they were talking about what to do with their Saturday afternoon over a sandwich at the kitchen table. But, she knew he was a man of his word. She did, later in the video take her elbows off the bed, but just for a fraction of a second and quite instinctively, returning them immediately to their rightful position.
When her punishment was over, he returned the belt between the keepers of his trousers, and had her 'take a seat' on the wooden bench. She's a model, I know, paid to do this, but it seemed pretty obvious to me that she was holding her bottom slightly off the seat by putting some pressure into her hands. It really did hurt. He proceeded to talk to her conversationally in a low tone.
'What will happen if you don't do as told?'
'I'll be spanked, Sir'
'Spanked often and soundly', he remarked, perfectly calmly.
'Yes, Sir'
'I'm expecting 90% or higher on your next assignment. I won't tolerate low grades. Is that clear?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Any lower than that and there will be a much harder spanking next week.'
'Yes, Sir'
When he left the room she lay down on the bed and it then became clear what a very sound spanking she'd taken. Something told me that if this were real life she'd study her little pants off that week to avoid another trip over the edge of the bed.
My head tells me that it is each adults personal responsibility to motivate themselves towards self directed behaviour. We are all capable, with adequate will and intent to change anything about our behaviour that isn't working well. But, it remains an exciting thought for me that a Dominant would assist in this way.
The Dominant in the video didn't rant and scream, didn't do anything but quietly and assuredly reminded her that he was there to administer the motivation she required any time that it was needed. He didn't hug or administer 'after care' either. He had assumed the role of her Disciplinarian for the moment and he wasn't shirking at his task. Whilst there was no evidence of love per se, he would be the same man (and I'm assuming this because I want to assume it) that would make tender love to her that night in the same bed as was her 'whipping post' earlier in the day.
My fantasy Dominant would pretty quickly work out that would work for me too, when there would become a settled period where I achieved my goals. That's the theory, anyway.
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