Just saying...

For the third day, my 'owner' has worked from his study in the house and for the third day in a row he has had very little sleep. This being the third day of living on the edge, my defences are wearing down. I have felt an urge to sit and write, to calm myself and settle myself by getting something down on paper but there are constant interruptions putting my nerves on edge.

I abandon the idea. I exercise. I clean the kitchen. I do the laundry. I do anything at all that will give my body momentum in lieu of my mind and thereby, with any luck, combat that sense of agitation I feel.

He finds me. He asks a question about the credit card bill. Then, he wants to know if the Internet is down. It is. I was waiting for him to get off the phone to ask him if it was okay to reboot but he tells me I am wrong. I should reboot if it goes down. “I was in the middle of doing something,” he chides, which is exactly the reason why I was previously told to wait and ask!!

I bring him some lunch and hear him clearly frustrated with the answers he is being given by the person on the other end of the phone. I drop the food and run. But, he comes to tell me what fools the people at the bank are and how they managed to inconvenience him again. I nod. I listen. I hope the explanation is over soon.

I retreat to the laundry and he comes to tell me he is sorry. I try to explain, again, that I find all this commotion tough to be around since there is nothing I can do to make it better and is it at all possible that not having hardly slept at all for three nights, he might be a little grumpy due to lack of sleep?

He expresses his lack of understanding. If he was not directing the upset towards me why should I be bothered to listen to upset directed at someone else? Again, I try to explain that I find it tough to have my day engulfed in this way, and that I’d like an opportunity to retrieve what I can of my day.

“You need a spanking,” he says.

Well, maybe I do. Maybe that is exactly the best outcome because it would settle him down; give him a sense of control over himself to feel that he is controlling me by spanking me. I’m not saying that it wouldn’t do me good, too. I’m just saying...